Support for Betrayed Partners and Spouses

If you are the spouse or partner of a person who has betrayed you with sex addiction or pornography addiction, discovering your loved one's out of control behavior can feel devastating. Spouses and partners often share with me that they feel shock, depression, rage, confusion, and isolation. As one spouse shared,

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"I had no idea what to do with the flood of feelings after finding out he had been lying to me about visiting prostitutes and watching porn all the time. I was broken apart! I felt so alone, so angry, so betrayed - my whole world changed in a moment. I am so thankful that I reached out for counseling and support. The tools I have learned with you Mari, and the support and healing at GCS have changed my whole outlook and given me the courage and strength to focus on my own healing."

Discovering your significant other has a secret sexual life is a traumatic event. As a result, many betrayed partners and spouses deal with traumatic stress symptoms such as physical pain, increased anxiety, insomnia, depression, poor self-image, overeating, substance abuse, and sexual withdrawal. If you can relate to any of this, you are not alone and there is help on the other side of sexual betrayal.

Over many years of working with men and women deeply wounded by their partner's destructive sexual choices, we have found that the reactions of the hurting partner often follows the Kubler-Ross grief cycle:

1. Denial: It will be fine, maybe I am crazy or making too much out of this.

2. Anger: Why me, why us? How can he/she keep doing this to me!

3. Bargaining: I will do anything if they would only change and stop lying.

4. Depression: I feel so betrayed, I don't know where to turn. I have no hope.

5. Acceptance: This is really happening, I am not crazy, and it is time for me to get help and healing.

We are experienced in working with both the sexually addicted client and the betrayed partner. Our Founding Director, Mari A. Lee, LMFT, CSAT-S is the co-author of the highly acclaimed book, "Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts," and a former partner of a sexually compulsive and deceptive person, and understands first hand the emotional roller coaster and heartbreak that spouses and partners deal with. Her podcast interview on partner's trauma an be heard here.

Moving forward in my own healing has been such a gift. The focus for so long was on my spouses sex addiction, and it ruled most of my life. Though therapy and healing wasn’t easy, I can say that after years of trauma, I finally have my life back! I am so grateful to all of you at GCS.
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Change is not easy, but it is possible. If you are ready to move forward, we will help you step out of the cycle of pain and trauma by utilizing specific tools and activities in restoring your heart and your life - one step at a time.

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Schedule an Appointment

If you are dealing with a spouse or partner's sexual betrayal and would like to start focusing on getting your life back on track, we are here to support your healing.  To schedule an appointment with a therapist in our Glendora, California offices, or if you have any questions, we welcome your call at 818.521.4370 or via email at